i have decided to use this site as a way to socially try to fix my health problem.  My health problem being that i am pretty overweight.  I got on the scale last night after the holiday weekend and i am 1lb shy of the heaviest i have ever been. 

 

Not a good way to end a holiday weekend. 

 

So I am hoping that i can lose weight socially.  lets call it the social diet.  I am going to post here, to a twitter account i am setting up.  maybe a facebook page.   A number of different places so everyone can see my progress, or lack there of.  Maybe with everyone watching, i can do better....

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If the bikes at the gym were like this i might get more exercise .....

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I haven't had any break downs in awhile.  And I realized last night while porting over all my old stuff that I haven't since before I got fired from the devil company.  What does that mean?  It means that being out of work, money tight, and being sued, that things are still better than going to work at that shit hole every day... 

 

thats fucked up...

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not starting the week off well.  2 days in and both days an episode on the drive in.  usually they are not that frequent.  don't remember what set it off yesterday but today was "just another day in paradise."  This one seems out of pattern from the others.  all the others had the distinct theme of not missing opportunities, continuing at all odds, being the best.  This one wasn't.  This one had the theme of no matter how bad it is its still paradise.  Not sure if it is anything or if i am just exhausted.  Sleep was not my friend last night.  I woke around 2:30 and could not sleep.  I ended up keeping the wife awake for a long time.  I eventually got up so she could sleep, watched a movie and did a bunch of work.  Around 5 finally figured i should go to sleep since i had to get up soon.  Laid down and still couldn't get back to sleep for awhile.  When i did finally it was on and off. So tired. i keep asking my wife whats wrong cause it seems something is different.  haven't really had close time in over a week.  she never sleeps in pajamas and all of the sudden every night now she does.  Maybe its just that cold.  Maybe i am looking too much into it. She says nothings wrong, and I should know by now to just believe her when she says it.  If something were wrong she would tell me.  I am guessing there isn't anything wrong other than the normal stress of we don't make enough money and the kid being sick.  I think its just me.  It will pass.  It always does.  Just need to get out this weekend to hit golf balls or something.  Get in the sun a little bit.  See if that helps.  Running in the dark in the morning and leaving work when the sun is down isn't really helping me.

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Its happening again.  I have come to hate my job.  Not the normal way people usually hate their job.  A good portion of people like their job.  Many people dislike their job but do it because they need to survive.  Some people don't like their job because they have to do it instead of something else. But I have come to the conclusion that I really hate my job.  Things used to be ok.  Alot changed awhile back which made me one of those people that went to work saying "its better than not working"  but you know what.  I don't think it is.  I hate almost everyone I work with.  No one here respects anyone.  The company plan is all about teamwork.  But there is no team work.  Its whatever you do to keep your own ass off the fire.  Fuck anyone in your way, they would do it to you too so  why not? The crap the is said amazes me.  The philosophies are astonding.  Sitting in the monthly mandatory company lunch and listening to what is said is laughable.   How can anyone sit there and lie.  Flat out lie to 40 people to their face.  Sorry, let me restate, the monthly lunches are not mandatory, they are volentary, but lord save you if you are not there.   And to justify it, each user is given lunch.... hold the phone, the company buys you lunch?  Yup, can not exceed $9 per person.  Meaning any place that caters will not get you food and drink for each person.  So you get just food.  NO DRINK FOR YOU. These "highly advised attendance" meetings are conveniently done during our lunch hour.  Cause lord knowsits much cheaper to pay 9 per person for lunch instead of having the meeting when you could be billing out at your 200 an hour rate.  40x9 = 360 compared to 8000 in "maybe" revenue.  Sure I get it. But don't tell us its because someone said we need to have more "company social time".  You can't have company social time if you are sitting quiet listening to someone talk. I hate it.  i really really hate it.

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